Look at these new sneakers! Made from a specially bred stingray. The DNA has been mixed and matched to produce say, a dazzling green and blue skin which is then fashioned into the shoe of your choice. The price: Thailand’s RayFish Footwear is charging $1800 for the dazzlers. Of course there are cries of horror from PETA and assorted enviro groups, but listen, if you have ever been chased by a hungry stingray, as I have, you wouldn’t feel quite so squeamish. If my pursuer had been brightly striped I’d have seen it sooner. As it was I swear I came close to losing a couple of essential toes. Just because fishes are in the sea all the time doesn’t mean they have exclusive right to the oceans. Didn’t human life start in the ocean, once we too were the red tide, unicells drifting aimlessly.
I’m more concerned with what we do when we catch our fellow swimmer. Which is what sends me to the Hoof Raw Bar which has opened up at Dundas and Bellwoods, just beside the Black Hoof, the city’s OTT charcuterie den which, since it opened a few years ago, has been the go-to place for the testosterone set. Any celebrity male who hits town is immediately taken to eat pork face at the Hoof.Don’t ever say Toronto isn’t passionate. Once the city restos lock on to a trend they go full bore — first it was dry aged beef, then pizza, charcuterie and now tacos which are appearing on menus everywhere in a quite unrelated fashion.
One trend that has happily endured – oysters which have been booming since Rodney opened his oyster house in 1987. Raw Bar means mainly shellfish, so the first thing I look for as I enter the restaurant is a welcoming cluster of shells on ice. No dice. Instead, a railroad car with the now clicheed Salvation Army decor, a piscine copy of the meat bar next door. The emphasis is on tweaking fish rather than celebrating its raw naturalness. Choice of oysters is four, and the Washington State ones are juicier than the PEI, $18 for six. Clams – there are none! However, fish snacks $11, are a groovy deep-fried fish beginner, three little boxes line with red-checked napkins containing crisp shrimp heads, smelts, tiny fish. Chawanmushi, $11, is a delectable cold egg custard with mushrooms, crispy kale and spiked with salmon caviar. Not so happy is the genteel, clam chowder $11, a soup where tiny gnocchi outnumber the clams which, like the other ingredients, are diced. That fifties’ fave, shrimp cocktail reappears as five softish smoked shrimp hanging over the lip of a bowl of spicy ketchup $15. No better than it ever was.
The piece de resistance is the cured fish board $22, which includes the mild Branzino, Italian sea bass, marinated in olive oil and olives, Albacore gravlax, citrus mackerel, Miso-tinged Black Cod, an homage to Nobu Matsuhisa who first made this popular pairing - all agreeable if a bit regressive, Chef Jonathan Poon has a very light hand. We can’t help comparing the rather effete taste of the cured fish with sashimi, raw fish brought to vibrant life by the judicious application of wasabi and soy sauce. The exception is raw scallops which are overwhelmed by chorizo.
At this point, we ponder the meaning of this raw bar. It’s as if the owner Jen Agg is trying to replicate the success of the Black Hoof by forcing fish into the same format whether it suits or not. It’s an intellectual approach that flies in the face of reality. Nose to tail is meaningless as far as fish are concerned – for one thing, they don’t have such promising organs to be exploited. So while Fish charcuterie sounds chic,just how much of it can there be? The cured fish on offer can’t sustain the menu which inexplicably excludes the great smoked fish, eel, salmon, trout. Will the keen fish lover, who is as conservative as the steak lover, cotton to a menu without the old favourites but instead covers the waterfront in an unfocussed fashion,from King Fish and plantain to Salt Cod Brandade, the bistro standby.
Perhaps more informed service would give a better impression: our server seems at sea. Dessert is a goodly rhubarb sponge $10. But say, this is the third resto I’ve been to in the past couple of weeks which hasn’t served Ontario’s strawberries, now in glorious season.
Hoof Fish Bar(926 Dundas West,647-346-9356, theblackhoof.com) Dinner for two, food and tax: $100
Out of four stars: **Food, * Service ** Vibe
